Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
