Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize