the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
