rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
