I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
