had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and she was petting her beer can
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
