alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
