i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
