I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
