distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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