Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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