All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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