those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The adults are the big ones right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize