he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
