why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
