pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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