My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
