two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
