did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize