come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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