the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
