I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
