apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
