Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
