I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
