I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
