I seem to have left my pride at pride
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
