"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
