I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
