its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
