Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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