I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
