The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
