Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
