Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
