I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
