For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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