my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my phone needs a breathalizer
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize