you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
