You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
