I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
