DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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