Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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