Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Found your dick twin last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize