Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
