I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
