Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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