The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
