Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
