Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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