i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
