Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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