i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
