no, he came in my armpit
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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