Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
