But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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