Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
