I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
