'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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